I spent a good long time talking to two 13-year-old boys about sex. Mostly all they said was "I don't know".
It was very frustrating. I felt like I couldn't get them to tell me the truth no matter how hard I tried. I asked them if they had ever watched pornography, one admitted he had only because it was on at a friends house and he wouldn't say much more than that. The other was adamant that he had never watched porn. I told him it was ok to watch porn, that when I was 13 I had like 3 gigs of porn. He still didn't say anything.
Afterward his older sister told me she knew for a fact that he had watched porn.
I am really becoming annoyed with the fact that sex is taboo. Neither of the boys felt like they could talk to anyone about sex. They thought it would be weird to talk to their parents, and said they didn't talk about it with their friends in a serious way.
So they know nothing, but they are 13 and becoming sexual beings. They want girl friends, they want to dabble in sexual experiences, but know nothing about their bodies or that of the opposite sex.
Why isn't this something everyone talks about? We all do it, why don't we talk about it?!
Why should a young man be afraid to get in trouble for asking questions about sex?
This is why we have teen pregnancy. They don't ask for protection because they don't want to get in trouble for having sex too young.
Why is talking about sex in a healthy and safe way such a problem for people?
Why can't I ask my mom for sexual advice the way I would ask Carlyle Jansen? Why am I more comfortable talking to a stranger than my mother or sister?
Are you more comfortable talking to anybody who isn't family?
And my last question why why why why why does every sexual professional need to tell people that communication with your partner about sex is important and will make sex better? Shouldn't that be a given?
Victoria Gray
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