Let's be honest here. What girl doesn't want to know what's going on inside a guy's head? While researching a story about why some men can't talk honestly about their feelings for a woman with other guys, I came across a fascinating book called The Game: Penetrating the secret society of pickup artists by Neil Strauss.
Even as a woman, I was sucked into it from the get-go. In a nutshell, it's a guide for self-conscious guys; by training them to play mind games with women, they'll have them eating out of their hands.
Don't get me wrong. I'm all for gaining the confidence needed to speak comfortably to the opposite sex. But is it really necessary to screw with a girl's head in order to achieve that task? Below is an excerpt from the book:
After approaching the group... the key is to ignore the woman you desire while winning over her friends - especially the men and anyone else likely to cockblock. If the target is attractive and used to men fawning all over her, the pickup artist must intrigue her by pretending to be unaffected by her charm. This is accomplished through the use of what he called a neg.
Neither compliment nor insult, a neg is something in between - an accidental insult or backhanded compliment. The purpose of a neg is to lower a woman's self esteem while actively displaying a lack of interest in her - by telling her she has lipstick on her teeth, for example, or offering her a piece of gum after she speaks.
And so goes the game. Apparently it's worked for many men who used to equate approaching women with jumping off a bridge. I can understand what nerves can do to your confidence. But is that a woman's fault? What goes does it serve to trick her into liking you? Why not keep it simple and give a woman a compliment you actually mean? I personally keep my guard up around any man who's too charming. Maybe I'm jaded. But I think many women are smart enough to block "negs," if I may borrow Strauss's terminology.
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