Manscaping for the blue-collar man

Click to see larger image

Open publication - Free publishing

Redefining sexy through breast reduction

Click for larger image

Open publication - Free publishing

A year without sex: a comedian's adventures in abstinence

Click for larger image

Open publication - Free publishing

Child sexual abuse: Canada vs the U.S.

By Vanessa Brown

Graham James, who was convicted for 350 charges of child sexual abuse in the '90s, was granted bail last week and released from jail on unrelated child sexual assault charges. James is a former Winnipeg minor hockey league coach now infamous for molesting ex-NHLers Sheldon Kennedy and Theo Fleury in the 1970s and '80s.

He initially served two-and-a-half years (from 1997 to 2001) for sexually assaulting Kennedy and an unnamed minor hockey league player. James was arrested in October on an additional nine counts of sexual assault. According to the Globe and Mail, Fleury said that Canadians "pride ourselves on being one of the safest countries in the world and a decision like the one that was made today doesn't really say a lot, make a statement that we're protecting our children, because we're not."

Art and pornography in homosexual culture

Chris Ironside

Ironside as a long weekender

By: Victoria Gray
Chris Ironside explores masculine identities through his photography. Sometimes it’s very sexualized and could be considered pornographic, but he is dealing with a tough subject with Hard Candy: sexuality.
“I’m never about blatant pornography, he said. “I think pornographic images are lovely and I think they are lovely because of the oddest thing… it becomes a lot about muscle worship and less about ass and cocks.”

Locker-room talk: what men will and won't talk about

Click to view larger image

Open publication - Free publishing

Empowering African immigrant women to raise sexually healthy children

Click to view larger image

Open publication - Free publishing

Declining condom use among unmarried young adults

Click to view larger image

Open publication - Free publishing

Open publication - Free publishing - More sexuality

11-year-olds aren't protected from sexual predators, study finds

Click to view larger image

Open publication - Free publishing

Prostitution laws struck down (updated)

Click to view larger image

Open publication - Free publishing

Lesbians are not getting the safe sex info they need

Writing pornography

Open publication - Free publishing

The Pond gets a lot bigger

Open publication - Free publishing

Boys talk about their sexual anxieties

Open publication - Free publishing

Deconstructing mind games in the world of dating

By Vanessa Brown

Let's be honest here. What girl doesn't want to know what's going on inside a guy's head? While researching a story about why some men can't talk honestly about their feelings for a woman with other guys, I came across a fascinating book called The Game: Penetrating the secret society of pickup artists by Neil Strauss.

Even as a woman, I was sucked into it from the get-go. In a nutshell, it's a guide for self-conscious guys; by training them to play mind games with women, they'll have them eating out of their hands.

Don't get me wrong. I'm all for gaining the confidence needed to speak comfortably to the opposite sex. But is it really necessary to screw with a girl's head in order to achieve that task? Below is an excerpt from the book:

After approaching the group... the key is to ignore the woman you desire while winning over her friends - especially the men and anyone else likely to cockblock. If the target is attractive and used to men fawning all over her, the pickup artist must intrigue her by pretending to be unaffected by her charm. This is accomplished through the use of what he called a neg.

Neither compliment nor insult, a neg is something in between - an accidental insult or backhanded compliment. The purpose of a neg is to lower a woman's self esteem while actively displaying a lack of interest in her - by telling her she has lipstick on her teeth, for example, or offering her a piece of gum after she speaks.

And so goes the game. Apparently it's worked for many men who used to equate approaching women with jumping off a bridge. I can understand what nerves can do to your confidence. But is that a woman's fault? What goes does it serve to trick her into liking you? Why not keep it simple and give a woman a compliment you actually mean? I personally keep my guard up around any man who's too charming. Maybe I'm jaded. But I think many women are smart enough to block "negs," if I may borrow Strauss's terminology.

The Male Psyche - virginity and beyond

I spent a good long time talking to two 13-year-old boys about sex. Mostly all they said was "I don't know".
It was very frustrating. I felt like I couldn't get them to tell me the truth no matter how hard I tried. I asked them if they had ever watched pornography, one admitted he had only because it was on at a friends house and he wouldn't say much more than that. The other was adamant that he had never watched porn. I told him it was ok to watch porn, that when I was 13 I had like 3 gigs of porn. He still didn't say anything.
Afterward his older sister told me she knew for a fact that he had watched porn.
I am really becoming annoyed with the fact that sex is taboo. Neither of the boys felt like they could talk to anyone about sex. They thought it would be weird to talk to their parents, and said they didn't talk about it with their friends in a serious way.
So they know nothing, but they are 13 and becoming sexual beings. They want girl friends, they want to dabble in sexual experiences, but know nothing about their bodies or that of the opposite sex.
Why isn't this something everyone talks about? We all do it, why don't we talk about it?!

Why I hate my boobs

I have big breasts.
But that's really stating the obvious.
Yes, they're real. No, you can't touch them. But ask me again once I'm drunk and I know you a little better. It's none of your business how they factor into my sex life. No, you can't see them, perfect stranger. My eyes are up here.
I don't know what I hate more - the constant attention from dudes, or the jealousy from the ladies.
Guys, I can deal with. They're singular-minded for the most part and who doesn't like a little male attention? Guys don't comment on my boobs (unless fuelled by alcohol). I realize if I wear something cleavage-barring in front of drunk men, I will get looks and comments.
It's the girls I can't stand.
When I was in Grade 7 this group of "mean girls" started a rumour that I had implants. (And I remember thinking, 'I'm 12! What reasonable doctor, in their right mind, would allow a 12-year-old to get a breast augmentation!')

My introduction to manscaping

I was first introduced to manscaping several years ago. I came home after a late night at work and hopped into bed with my boyfriend. One thing led to another, and soon enough he was down to his boxer shorts.
And all of a sudden he was hairless.
After a year of dating a moderately hairy, blue-collar gent, it was quite a shock to come home to someone without any body-hair - chest, pubes, even legs and armpits.

Confessions of a Toronto sex worker

By Vanessa Brown

* Names have been changed to protect privacy

Meet Ruby Jeffrey. She's in her early 40s; she supports two teenage daughters, one of whom is in university; she'd talk to you for hours if you let her, with a comforting voice that would remind you of your mother's; she holds a Bachelor of Arts degree in psychology. Ruby is a Toronto sex worker.

Sexy Pole - Sexual Anxiety

I wondered how many men are affected by sexual anxiety. Do they spend the same amount of time or any time thinking about their sexual performance? I always wonder if I am a good lover, if my partner is satisfied and if I should be doing more.

Right now I'm so busy I don't feel like I have time for sex, so I know I need to do more, but I don't have time, but am I still a good girlfriend?

So I'd like to know other people's opinions, take my pole!
Victoria Gray

For men:

Create your free online surveys with SurveyMonkey, the world's leading questionnaire tool.

40, divorced....dating?

I am in a world of trouble with this article. I know, I know objective journalism. Just do your research and write it down. I always find it so hard to do that. I usually write about what I know or have experienced in some way. Some facet of my being can connect to the story or at least empathize with it.
I'm in denial. I will never be 40, let alone over 40. Are there numbers past 40? No, not that I know of.
It is a sign of my immaturity, a sign that I have not left behind the invincible attitude.
My parents are still married, I will be married, it will not end in divorce and therefore I will never have to date after 40.
What if? Things happen, people change, people cheat, lie, steal.....die.

A quick update

Things are coming along nicely at Sexposé headquarters.

We're finalizing our layout templates, but still looking for a printer. We know we're keeping you waiting with bated breath for our stories to be posted online, but we just want to make sure they're prefect.

Look out for Aileen's exploration of pornography as education and Veronica's profile on Claire Brosseau and her year without men. Vanessa explored multicultural sex-ed and Vicki took a close look at prophylactics in the lesbian community.

Right now, Veronica and Vanessa have something for the boys, with stories on manscaping and locker-room talk. Aileen asks how can the married couple spice up their sex life, while Vicki explores online dating for the divorcee.

Stay tuned for more!

When abstinence is the right decision

Reading Claire's blog, I was struck by the similarities between me and her.

"I'm boy-crazy too!"

"I've made questionable decisions!"

I'll run into a friend and they'll ask me, 'how's it goin' with that guy?'

And more often than not, I reply, 'which one? Oh, that was like... three or four dudes ago. Get with the program.'

Anti-sexting application resurrects debate over how much control parents should have

By Vanessa Brown

Knowing there are public photos that violated the girl's vulnerability and safety deeply upset Murielle Boudreau. In September, sexually explicit images of a 16-year-old girl, gang-raped by a group of males at a Pitt Meadows, B.C. field party were posted online. Within days, the photos quickly spread across Facebook, leading RCMP officials to plead with students to help stop it. Two Pitt Meadows male students have since been charged with child pornography.

Boudreau, a member of the Greater Catholic Parent Network, cringes at the thought that such photos are out there for her two teenaged daughters to see. But instead of controlling their Internet use and cell phone text messages, Boudreau uses the incident to communicate with them.

"It's just brutal," she said. "It's vulgar, and so we talk about things like that, and I tell them to be careful about what pictures they put out there because they're there forever."

In an attempt to control vulgar text messages, Apple patented an application on Oct. 12 that will allow parents to block unauthorized content sent or received by their children. Although the patent doesn't explicitly refer to "sexting" (text messages of a sexual nature), U.S. tech experts have dubbed it the "anti-sexting app." The application is not yet available.

What do kids really know about sex?

The last time I had sexual-education was in grade 9. The curriculum I had was the very same one that students use today. Incidentally, it was the first year the curriculum had been applied enmasse. 1999.


But what do I really remember from health and sex-ed?

DON'T DO DRUGS

WEAR A CONDOM

DON'T HAVE SEX

DRUGS ARE BAD

What the Ontario sex-ed curriculum really said

I love research. Some would say I'm addicted to researchahol. (Seriously, I need a 12-step program.)

Before I begin my interviews and before I can even begin generating a source list, I need my fix.

But I tend to get carried away.

Reading articles, studies, court-documents, text-books, websites and government documents gives depth to a story. But I want to read everything. Everything.

And the sex-ed story was no exception.

I had many questions to answer: why did the Ontario government withdrawl the proposed changes to the sex-ed portion of the health and physical education curriculum? What was so controversial? What were the timelines? What did the curriculum look like prior? What did the proposed chages really say?

Empowering Torontonian women to talk about sex and sexuality

By Vanessa Brown

My beat members and I have noticed that, more than anything, most of our stories have the importance of communication in common. And last Saturday was no exception. The Empowering African Immigrant Women to Become Leaders in Raising Sexually Healthy Children workshop was open and honest dialogue in action.

It wasn't the first time the program's been offered. Last year, Toronto Public Health facilitated a similar education series. However, the co-ordinator's noticed that it was being taught from the top-down. The curriculum didn't leave enough room for participants to voice their own opinions on sexual-health information. So it didn't take.

This time around, Toronto Public Health teamed up with Africans in Partnership Against AIDS (APPA), which provided a social worker to help with the workshops. Even better, the social worker knew the participants personally.

I walked into the narrow basement of APPA last Saturday and was immediately overtaken with the warm voices of nine recent immigrants to Canada. They spoke primarily in French. Thinking the language barrier might hinder my ability to get the story, and get it right, I sat down with caution.

Sex is my Profession!

I read erotica. I said it; I'm not ashamed! I think it is so much better than pornography. I get to fill int he gaps in my head, whereas in film there are very few gaps. That became more sexualized than I wanted it to. Anyway, I think it is difficult to picture the people who make this kind of writing their job. So I wanted to show the world that the people who do this, are normal everyday people. They have children, spouses and soccer practice to take the kids to.
As I expected, it is not something that many writers tell their fellow soccer moms.
Dar Mavison's children went to an alternative school, she accidentally told one of the other moms and at first the other moms were shocked, but quickly decided it was really cool!
It seems like a strange thing, but she started writing erotica and porn so she could spend more time

STI test at the Hassle Free Clinic

Today I got up early to go to the Hassle Free clinic to get tested for sexually transmitted infections. My partner asked me where I was going, so I told her. It shocked the hell out of me when she asked if she could come. She had never been tested either and thought it was a good idea.
Strangely, I didn't wonder if she NEEDED one. We've only been sleeping together for a few weeks...frankly only dating for a short time more than that.
I wondered if it would be awkward to get tested with a new lover. That seems to be backward thinking to me.
Regardless, we went together. The Hassle Free Clinic is right on the corner of Church and Gerard. I went to Ryerson for four years; I lived not two blocks from that clinic. I had no idea it existed. I had been to the copy place below the Hassle Free to buy boot legged photocopies of text books. Why didn't I know that clinic exited?

Lesbians and Safe Sex

I'm a lesbian, nice to meet you.

It's always awkward to put that out there and I wouldn't if it wasn't a large part of this experiment.

Let me explain from the beginning.

When I was asked if I wanted to help develop a magazine about sex I thought I should because my sexuality, my experience and my contacts would diversify the magazine. I didn't think about how deep I would have to delve into my own sexuality, until I started to do research this story.

I always hear about using condoms. Make sure you use a condom, make sure you don't get pregnant. I'm not going to get pregnant, so why bother with a condom?

I could get diseases, yes, but I won’t.

It was my fellow editor Veronica Blake who asked me why I didn't think I would be afflicted with an STI.

I said what a lot of people say. "I know who I'm sleeping with."

Veronica pushed and asked who my partners had slept with, did I know them? Did I know they were STI free?

I didn't.

Survey: Declining condom use in 20-34 year-old unmarried Canadians

Most studies on declining condom use focuses on youth aged 14 to 19

My current article is about declining condom use in 20-34 year-old single Canadians.

The framework of this article will focus on a survey published by SIECCAN (The Sex Information and Education Council of Canada) published in The Canadian Journal of Human Sexuality.

As well, I want to hear from YOU, from real people. So if you could please take a few minutes to fill out the survey.

The survey is 100% anonymous.

Ontario strikes down prostitution laws

* Some names have been changed to protect privacy

By Vanessa Brown

As her colleagues surrounded her with tears and laughter, jumping up with explosive excitement, Ruby Jeffrey sat motionless, dazed with disbelief. Her state of shock reflects a decade of secrecy in the sex-trade industry, and being ignored by the Canadian legal system.

           

“As a sex worker, you’re not used to things going your way, or anyone listening to you ever,” Jeffrey said.

           

It is a week following the landmark ruling. Her level of shock is still palpable, but her emotions are starting to mirror those of her fellow sex workers. Jeffrey is talkative and energetic. She believes the current Criminal Code provisions effectively cover sex workers with a blanket of tension in their daily dealings with clients, from negotiating  services beforehand, to worrying that the flow of traffic outside their bawdy houses will rouse suspicion in their neighbours.

We're still under construction!

We should have our first stories posted next week!

Aileen looks at the do-it-yourself trends in sexuality.

Legalization of prostitution is on the menu with Vanessa's article.

Wondering whatever happened to Ontario's sex-ed curriculum? Veronica's got the story.

And lines are blurred with Vicki's piece on art versus porn.

So stay tuned!

Porn Vs. Art, Why do we care?

When I was in High school I had a remarkable photography teacher, Mr. Creighton. He conned me into copying a Robert Mapplethorpe self portrait series for my final project. I didn't know Mapplethorpe.

Robert Mapplethorpe, Self Portrait

When I saw the work he had done, I freaked out! I couldn't do it! Mr. Creighton told me to do some self portraits and write an essay about Mapplethorpe's work and the impact it had on society.
I was shocked. I had no idea there was such an outcry in the art world, such a problem with nudity or homosexual/homoerotic depictions.

Secxpo at the University of Toronto